


You and I (Have Already Started to Die)

by TimmyJaybird



Series: 100 Themes Challenge [22]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cunnilingus, M/M, Trans Character, Vaginal Sex, ftm Keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8173676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: “Sometimes I just need to look out there and think. About how it was, when you were gone. When I looked up at the sky and wondered where you were. And when you were there, before you left… when you and I used to…” Keith smiled, his cheeks blushing gently. “When we used to sneak off and hide in the desert together and live. And sometimes I just need to compare everything to where I am… so that I know I can keep going. Things change. Everything is unexpected…”





	

**Author's Note:**

> The theme was "the true you". Not exactly in the same verse as my fic "i'd get lost in space with you"... I just can only seem to think of Keith as trans.

Keith rested his cheek against his arms, folded up on his knees, pulled close to his chest. He stared forward, at the gaping space outside the ship- at the speckles of stars that splattered the black with some sort of light. The ship was silent around him, sleeping in the late hours of the night.

 

For once, it was peaceful. He couldn’t complain, not with what they went through, not with how it felt like each day was borrowed, and he never knew if he’d ever get  _ silence _ again, except for the kind that never ended.

 

Except sometimes the peace made it hard to sleep.

 

He sighed, eyelids half open. He couldn’t feel the ship moving, but he almost wished he could. A gentle rock might lull him completely to sleep where he sat, staring at stars that he had never imagined. He wasn’t sure how different they could be from the ones he used to stare at, out in the desert when he was lost and  _ alone _ \- but he couldn’t imagine that different.

 

Except now…

 

He didn’t move when he heard the door sliding open. The footsteps were soft- heavy if not focused on. He knew them, knew the rhythm, and maybe it was  _ obsessive _ that he did, but he didn’t care.

 

He had so little in life, he’d be  _ damned _ if he didn’t know everything about the one thing- the one person- he had.

 

Shiro settled down slowly next to him, on the floor. He gave a little groan as he bent, his arm brushing against Keith, making him smile slightly. “Couldn’t sleep?” Shiro asked, and Keith gave the smallest of nods, looking over at him. “You know, my room’s always open to you when you can’t.”

 

“I know.” Keith glanced back out at the stars. “I just… didn’t want to wake you. I was just… lost.” He felt Shiro’s arm slowly slipping around him, and leaned over against him, lifting his head just to rest it near his chest, sighing because he was  _ warm _ and solid and so perfectly  _ there _ when Keith had worried he never would be again. “Sometimes I just need to look out there and think.”

 

“About what?” Shiro leaned over, kissed the top of his head. His thumb was rubbing into the curve of Keith’s waist.

 

Keith rubbed his tongue along his teeth, thinking of the words. “How it was, when you were gone. When I looked up at the sky and wondered where you  _ were _ . And when you were there, before you left… when you and I used to…” he smiled, his cheeks blushing gently. “When we used to sneak off and hide in the desert together and  _ live _ . And sometimes I just need to compare everything to where I am… so that I know I can keep going. Things change. Everything is unexpected…”

 

Another kiss to the top of his head. “I’m not leaving you again,” Shiro whispered, a hushed promise that Keith knew he  _ wanted _ to keep. He lifted his head, tipped gently and kissed his jaw.

 

“I know you won’t  _ mean _ to. But if it happens… I just want to make sure I don’t forget anything. Not what we had before. Or what we have now. I want to know I can look at any sky and still get lost in your eyes and remember what your fingertips taste like.” Keith unfolded his arms, reached out and took Shiro’s right hand. He lifted it, pressed the smooth metal to his lips. Shiro watched, eyes focused as Keith’s pink tongue darted out, rolled between two fingertips. “Then  _ and _ now.”

 

Shiro exhaled, and Keith swore he could feel his heartbeat in the air. He opened his mouth, guided the two fingers in and sucked gently, and Shiro shifted, the hand on his waist shifting down, sliding under his tshirt to press to warm skin. Keith gave a tiny whimper, around his fingers, before he was suddenly letting them go, turning and pushing at Shiro. Shiro didn’t fight back, he fell flat to his back and let Keith climb up onto him, straddling him and placing his hands on his shoulders, keeping him down.

 

Shiro smiled, the edges of his scar pulling, and Keith leaned closer, his hair tickling his cheeks. He pecked Shiro’s lips, squeezed his legs against his hips and rocked gently, drew the sweetest little sound up. “Baby,” Shiro whispered, as Keith kissed the corner of his mouth, along his jaw. “If you…  _ want something _ , my room is definitely more comfortable than the floor.”

 

Keith giggled, nuzzling Shiro’s cheek, before pushing himself back up. He grasped his tshirt, tugging it up over his head and dropping it to the floor, arching slightly and rolling his shoulders. The subtle glow outside left his edges illuminated, like he boasted a full-body halo. He smiled, shaking his head. “Here,” he whispered, “with the stars watching.”

 

And Shiro- he could only smile, eyes soft and loving. He sat up, locked his Galra arm around Keith’s waist and held him steady, leaning up to kiss him properly. It was slow, the wet sounds of their mouths echoing within the silent room. Keith reached for his shoulders again, squeezed tightly like he was hanging on, as he sucked at Shiro’s tongue when it pushed into his mouth. Shiro’s other hand grasped his thigh, squeezed the meat of it through his sweatpants. When he moved them, Keith followed his lead, let his boyfriend sprawl him on the floor and sink his fingers down past the waistband of his sweatpants, smiling when he found only bare skin.

 

Keith lifted his hips as they were dragged down his legs, sighing when they were shoved aside and the cool floor was pressed to his ass and legs. He dug his shoulders in, let Shiro spread his legs as he sprawled out between them. There was a mouth against his inner thigh, trailing up, before Shiro pushed himself up, pressed his mouth to the thatch of hair between Keith’s legs, kissing just at the start of his pelvis.

 

“Gorgeous boy,” he mumbled, and Keith smiled, his fingers flexing as he felt Shiro’s breath ghosting over all the  _ right _ places. His mouth moved lower, kissed against sensitive folds of skin, before his tongue traced up it, not pushing past. Keith squirmed, sighing, the teasing making his heart pound against his ribs. He sucked in a breath and let it out in a rush when Shiro’s tongue finally pushed into his warmth, rubbed up over his clit and made his legs tremble.

 

Shiro groaned, pushing closer, tongue rolling around Keith’s clit in slow circles. His fingers dug into the floor, before Keith pushed himself up on one elbow, so he could peer down his own body.

 

If he ever got sick of the sight of Shiro between his legs, he wanted to be flung into the hottest sun the universe had to offer.

 

He reached down, sank his hand into Shiro’s hair, brushing the stark white back against all those short, dark strands. Shiro groaned, and Keith could see his hips moving, ass rising as he ground against the floor. He smiled, continuing to stroke his hair back, fingertips shaking as he moaned.

 

“Takashi,” he whispered, and Shiro glanced up, his eyes having gone dark as the space around them. Keith smiled softly, could feel his heart in his throat. Normally, he was more than happy to let Shiro take his time with him, to let him get him off with his mouth over and over again- but… “You know what I want.”

 

“Let me warm you up,” Shiro mumbled, before he dragged his tongue along the length of his lips again, pausing to flick over his clit. “Make it worth your while.”

 

If he had any discouragement over their  _ choice _ of placement of intimacy, he seemed done voicing them.

 

“Always is,” Keith breathed. “I just… I need to  _ feel _ you. Please…”

 

He couldn’t exactly explain it. But he  _ needed _ this. Needed something to compare to the nights where he could see the stars out through the window in their shack- the nights where Shiro has laid him out on the rocks in the desert and taken him beneath the stars, until Keith swore they were falling, glittering in Shiro’s hair and his smiles and on his breath every time he said Keith’s name.

 

“Okay,” Shiro whispered, pausing to kiss Keith’s sensitive skin one last time. Then he was pushing himself up, tugging his shirt off and tossing it away, before working his sweatpants and underwear down. Keith sat up properly, smiling and reaching out as soon as Shiro had everything around his thighs, wrapping a hand around his cock and giving him a firm stroke. Shiro sighed, eyes fluttering shut, as Keith teased his thumb over his head, spreading precum and teasing his slit. Keith kept his smile, watching the way Shiro’s mouth fell open.

 

With his other hand he reached for his own tossed sweatpants, fingers feeling around until he could get into the pocket, pull out the little film package. Shiro glanced at it, a smile crossing his face.

 

“Careful, or I’ll think you came here  _ knowing _ I’d find you,” he whispered, as Keith released his cock, tearing open the package. It was nearly silent, unlike the ungodly  _ loud _ condom wrappers he remembered. He plucked the thin, smooth material out and eased it over Shiro’s cockhead.

 

“Maybe I did,” Keith admitted, rolling it down. He had Allura to thank for the ungodly amount of, as they joked,  _ space condoms _ he had now.

 

Except he was fairly sure he and Shiro would use them all and need more in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

 

“Maybe I just miss fucking you beneath the stars.” He pulled his hand back, leaning back until he was stretched out, propped up on his elbows. He raised his hips, smirking. “Maybe I want more memories to hold onto for when the end finally catches up to us.” Shiro’s smile was small, soft and almost sad- and he wasn’t contradicting the statement, correcting Keith. Wasn’t telling him they’d outrun fate and destiny and life and time itself…

 

But- “I’ll be there,” Shiro whispered, taking a moment to finish stripping, before he settled between Keith’s legs. “In the end. It’ll be you and me- like it always should have been.”

 

Keith kept his smile, let himself fall back as Shiro leaned over him, kissed him. One hand was planted firmly on the floor, the other holding himself steady as he slowly guided his way into Keith’s body. Keith sighed, gave one full shudder, arms reaching up to lock around Shiro’s neck and hold tightly. Shiro pulled off his mouth only when he was fully inside him, hips still as he simply took in that never-ending warmth of Keith simply being all around him.

 

“Baby…”

 

“I know,” Keith whispered, fingertips stroking the back of Shiro’s neck. “Slow, okay?” Shiro nodded, pulling back slightly, before pressing up tight to Keith’s body again. Keith sighed, kissed him again, slow and heavy, closing his eyes and trying to memorize every new feeling.

 

The cool floor beneath him. The feel of Shiro’s weight- he was heavier now, thicker muscle than before. The sounds of the ship around him that he perceived as silence- the different smell, the lack of that earthy sand, the missing hallowing wind…

 

Shiro’s hips drew back more, pushed himself deeper in on the next thrust, and Keith arched. His chest rubbed against Shiro’s, made his boyfriend gasp as his nipples dragged over Keith’s scars. Keith smiled, wrapping one leg up over the back of Shiro’s thighs and lifting himself higher, meeting his thrusts. Shiro moaned, panting slightly, and Keith made a point to rub against him, to get friction where he needed it most.

 

“How can I make this better?” Shiro asked, like he  _ always _ did. Like he wasn’t even thinking about how good it felt for him- like he only wanted to know how to make it endless  _ good _ for Keith.

 

“Can I,” Keith started, licking his lips and whimpering at the next thrust, “get on top?”

 

“Of course.” Shiro eased back, pulled out, before he turned and flopped back next to Keith. He turned and smiled at him, and Keith  _ laughed _ , before he sat up. He swung one leg over Shiro, pulling himself up onto his body and reaching back, grasping the base of his cock. He pushed himself up, easing down onto it slowly, eyelids going half lidded as he watched Shiro tip his head back, close his eyes and exhale.

 

He was gorgeous like that. He was open and honest and  _ happy _ and feeling good in ways Keith always wanted him to. He was himself down to his bones, when Keith had him under the stars. He remembered how he would open up, those first few times- before it was sex, when it was just nervous hands and mouths and there wasn’t an  _ end _ , just the joy of  _ feeling _ . How Shiro said things he otherwise wouldn’t, how his eyes gave away the very depths of his soul and the caverns behind his bones.

 

He saw every bit there was to Shiro, and it was given to him freely.

 

Keith ground his hips down, reaching with one hand and rubbing his fingers between his lips, over his clit. Shiro lifted his head, opened those gorgeous eyes then and smiled, one elbow keeping him propped up, the other reaching out to cup Keith’s ass, helping to guide him.

 

“I have you,” he whispered, as Keith let more of his weight rest on that hand, the smooth metal warm somehow, from all their contact. He shivered, felt Shiro’s fingers curling and holding tight, and he rubbed faster, his breaths coming in pants. He glanced up, outside- and for a moment, got lost in all those stars.

 

And endless sea of everything and nothing, and it was theirs and yet- they  _ belonged _ to it.

 

They belonged in the stars. And one day, they’d be consumed…

 

“Keith,  _ baby _ , come on.” Shiro’s voice was calm, coaxing as it always was. Keith went tight around him, gasping, fingers desperate now. Shiro was the only one he’d ever allowed himself to have like this, the only one who could make him feel this way.

 

Keith never wanted that to change.

 

He opened his mouth, breathed out  _ Takashi _ , and felt Shiro shuddering. Keith was beginning to lose his rhythm, but that was alright- he was there, was  _ complete _ suddenly, tossing his head back and shuddering. Shiro groaned, squeezing his ass tighter, staring up at the way the stars lit up every groove in his body, how his scars shone and how Keith was bearing them and himself without a  _ care _ .

 

He trusted Shiro. He trusted this man he knew, from the inside out.

 

Keith sucked in a breath, leaning forward and slumping slightly, his hips stilling. Shiro’s hand moved fro his ass to his hips, rubbed it gently, soothingly, as Keith worked to catch his breath. He glanced up at Shiro through his hair, his thick lashes, before smiling gently.

 

“Let’s get you off,” he teased, leaning forward and bracing his hands on Shiro’s chest. He splayed them, swore he could feel his heartbeat against his palm as he began moving his hips again, slamming them down in this harsh but euphoric way. Shiro gave, let himself lay flat and tipped his head back, closing his eyes. “That’s it,” Keith whispered, “you’re  _ perfect _ like this. I see you, Takashi.” He flexed his fingertips, felt a scar beneath one. “I see all of you and I  _ love _ you.”

 

_ Forever and always _ .

 

Shiro shuddered, pushing up- and when his hips faltered, stuttered, Keith smiled and helped him ride it out. He moved his hips until Shiro  _ wasn’t _ , and then slowed but refused to get off him. Instead he eased himself down, kept Shiro inside him and rested on his chest, nuzzling up into his neck. Shiro wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight as he worked to catch his breath, tipping down to kiss Keith’s hair. “You know you’re amazing, right?” he asked, voice a little husky.

 

Keith hummed, smiling. “No. But I know you are.” He lifted his head, glanced up past Shiro, out at all the stars that were watching them, that were taking in this moment  _ with _ them- creating another endless memory to get lost in their bright existence. “And I know I’ll die remembering this. You. The way you are now. The way you were then.”

 

Shiro stroked the curve of Keith’s spine, lifted his head and managed a kiss to his chin. “Not tonight,” he whispered, “tonight, you’re  _ living _ , Keith. You deserve that much.”

 

Shiro would always be sure that Keith deserved far  _ more _ , but Keith knew he couldn’t really  _ promise _ it to him. After all, they were on borrowed time- someday, somehow, the stars would catch them, and burn them until their ash mingled and dissipated, out into the dark nothing that was watching them, even now.


End file.
